Here I am, at 12:37 am, thinking about the direction I want to take with my photography. Why? For one thing, I’m in the middle of taking a series of 30 seconds exposures to create an image of star trails. Why I started this tonight when I have a 9 o’clock class tomorrow morning, I don’t know.
I’ve been doing quite a bit of work in the darkroom lately developing 35mm, 120mm, and even some paper negatives from my newly created pinhole camera. I had forgotten how fun it was to actually create your own photos. Not just taking them, but making them.
But I’m a bit discouraged. I don’t know what I want to do with my photography, where I want to go. I do know a few things, however:
I don’t want to be a wedding photographer.
I don’t want to be a pet or children photographer.
I do want to be unique.
I do want to be creative.
I do want to have fun in the process.
So where does this leave me? I seem to spend more time searching and viewing other photographer’s work then I do working on my own. And at the end of the day, I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing.
This is not what I want to do.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, and saying, “To hell with it! I’m not going to get anywhere anyway!”
Then there are days when it all seems crystal clear. Those days are few.
I enjoy taking photos of many things; architecture, landscape, urban, macro, the stars, abstract, just to name a few. Do I need to pick one and concentrate on that? Or do I continue taking pictures of everything hoping something will “click”.
I great photographer once told me not to limit myself by choosing a genre, but to take photos of whatever I wanted. I like that advice. But what do I do with it? (BTW that photographer was Clay Enos.)
I’m frustrated by the fact that I don’t have a studio space, or the clientele to warrant getting one. I feel cramped in my house. And now that the weather is turning colder, it’s only going to get worse.
I’m relieved that I have access to a darkroom where I can escape for a few hours. But that, too, will not last.
Then there’s this blog. I feel horrible about not posting regularly. But on the other hand I don’t want it to fill up with posts like this one. So if you’re a reader, thank you so much for sticking around! I promise there won’t be many of these “ramblings”. However, if I don’t post for awhile, it’s because I don’t feel like what I have to say at that moment is worthy of your precious time.
Thank you for sticking through this. Goodnight.