Why?
Here I am, at 12:37 am, thinking about the direction I want to take with my photography. Why? For one thing, I’m in the middle of taking a series of 30 seconds exposures to create an image of star trails. Why I started this tonight when I have a 9 o’clock class tomorrow morning, I don’t know.
I’ve been doing quite a bit of work in the darkroom lately developing 35mm, 120mm, and even some paper negatives from my newly created pinhole camera. I had forgotten how fun it was to actually create your own photos. Not just taking them, but making them.
But I’m a bit discouraged. I don’t know what I want to do with my photography, where I want to go. I do know a few things, however:
I don’t want to be a wedding photographer.
I don’t want to be a pet or children photographer.
I do want to be unique.
I do want to be creative.
I do want to have fun in the process.
So where does this leave me? I seem to spend more time searching and viewing other photographer’s work then I do working on my own. And at the end of the day, I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing.
This is not what I want to do.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, and saying, “To hell with it! I’m not going to get anywhere anyway!”
Then there are days when it all seems crystal clear. Those days are few.
I enjoy taking photos of many things; architecture, landscape, urban, macro, the stars, abstract, just to name a few. Do I need to pick one and concentrate on that? Or do I continue taking pictures of everything hoping something will “click”.
I great photographer once told me not to limit myself by choosing a genre, but to take photos of whatever I wanted. I like that advice. But what do I do with it? (BTW that photographer was Clay Enos.)
I’m frustrated by the fact that I don’t have a studio space, or the clientele to warrant getting one. I feel cramped in my house. And now that the weather is turning colder, it’s only going to get worse.
I’m relieved that I have access to a darkroom where I can escape for a few hours. But that, too, will not last.
Then there’s this blog. I feel horrible about not posting regularly. But on the other hand I don’t want it to fill up with posts like this one. So if you’re a reader, thank you so much for sticking around! I promise there won’t be many of these “ramblings”. However, if I don’t post for awhile, it’s because I don’t feel like what I have to say at that moment is worthy of your precious time.
Thank you for sticking through this. Goodnight.
November 17th, 2009 at 2:44 am
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have been there for the last THREE years. Going nowhere at the speed of light … and for what? I have ZERO constant clients and just as many prospects. No real studio (half of my garage), no real lighting (to speak of) and due to the lack of work and this WRETCHED ECONOMY, no option to get better equipment.
I did a post three days ago asking if “photographic subject diversity was a good thing.” and I guess it is not. After three days and 10 retweets I had ONE comment … and he said “NO”.
Unfortunately, diversity is wired in to me. My blog is the prime example of that http://mrjoatmon.blogspot.com (Joatmon being “Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None”).
I was recently had 7 images placed in a book out of 13 I submitted. That 13 is the number of CATEGORIES I went for. No one else had that many excepted … why? Because they didn’t submit to that many groups or their photography was not of high enough quality to make the cut. Yet, I can not get enough work to feed myself once a week, much less my family of 5. BTW, I get ZERO royalties from the books sales – I get to say “I was published in this book two years in a row and my images are the very first you see when you open it.” B.F.D.
Here is what I have come to believe “People’s high interest in your abilities only extends to the point of what they can get from you for free.” Once the subject of pay comes up, they are out the door. Beyond that, most are offended that you even asked for payment.
Needless to say, I feel your frustration and pain.
November 17th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I feel your pain. I have the good fortune of being on the other end of life’s path, with a small retirement income to support my “hobby”, but with the desire to make it a paying proposition. When I try to charge what I think my work deserves, it scares people away. I love shooting, but have no studio space, either, to work on it through the cold months. I try to rent spaces here and there on a day-at-a-time basis, which sometimes works. And now, being on crutches for two more months, I feel even more restricted.
The blog can become a burden, which is why I have not started one, but it can be a place for catharsis when life presents challenges. When it is not life or death to ones economic survival, it need not become a burden out of the expectation that you will or must have something profound to contribute on a daily basis.
Take care.
November 20th, 2009 at 6:57 am
Hey Nate…not that I have a whole lot to offer but an ignorant and naive comment or two. But here ya go
When I think of great photography and pictures, I think of passion and capturing moments. Moments that would otherwise go by un-noticed. And the fact that someone has the insight to catch those moments and seal them in something tangible that I can see over and over again and remember the feelings it illicited….well it touches the soul I guess.
As far as making money at it and keeping the clientele up, thats a rough one. I suppose the passion found in one’s work is supposed to be enough. But the balance between one’s passion and meeting other responsibilites…thats an everlasting pursuit.
Take good care and have a happy pursuit!